Go Ask Your Father

Heylo! I attended GCCW yesterday; here's the written piece I shared with everyone else, entitled Go Ask Your Father:

Last night, when Emily was readying herself for bed, she asked her mum, “Do you think the mighty Maroons can win the second Origin match tomorrow night?”

“How would I know?” retorted Emily’s mother. “Go ask your father.”

So this morning, when Emily’s dad comes to kiss her bye before leaving for work, she poses the same question to him. “Do you think we can win the second Origin match tonight?”

“Sure, we’ll KILL them!” replies Emily’s dad enthusiastically.

Shocked, Emily replies, “Dad!” Then her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Have you been listening to Uncle Colbert again?”

Emily’s dad laughs and replies. “Yup!” Then he repeats again, “We’ll KILL them!”

Uncle Colbert has been a church friend of our family for many years. He’s a physiotherapist by trade, and a passionate rugby league fan. In years past, I’d invited him over to our place on the Origin Wednesday nights to come watch the match with dad and I. My only requirement of him is that he does not wear ANYTHING blue. One such year, when he arrived, I let him in. Not five paces down our hallway, I order, “Freeze. Uniform inspection.” Uncle Colbert is a sport and stands rigidly to attention. I go bottom up. “Shoes, black, pass. Socks, brown, pass. Trousers, also brown. I don’t care what colour knickers you’re wearing, eww! Shirt, red, nice. Wait …” I pause and eye him suspiciously. “What’s the colour of that undershirt you’re wearing beneath your shirt?” Uncle Colbert laughs, before tugging the shirt out so I can see it better. “No worries, it’s just white!” Thus he is welcomed into our house and we cheer the mighty Maroons onto glorious victory together.

One year, however, Uncle Colbert can’t make it, and as a direct result, the mighty Maroons lose. The next day, I send him an irate e-mail with the subject “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!” blaming him solely for our loss. You’d think he’d learn his lesson, prove his loyalty and turn up for future matches, right?

Wrong. Recently, Uncle Colbert has decided that his heart simply cannot cope with the excitement of these live matches and simply tapes them to watch later on after he’s checked the score and found out that his team has won.

Before the first game last month, I again e-mailed him, requesting his support, but again, he didn’t show up and again, we fell. Or more precisely, we got MAULED.

For the first Origin match, QLD was predicted to win. This time around, it’s the smelly Blues who’ve got the upper hand. But really, who cares?? QUEENSLANDER!! W/C:433